Updated: Feb 4
No, this isn’t a list about the right way and wrong ways of being a mother – we’re not even going to touch that stuff. This is about YOU being the best version of YOU because you’ve thought about YOU and are taking care of YOU.
1. They identify what’s important to them and prioritise it.
In order to get where we want to be we need to know where we want to be. Make a box and split it into nine areas. Think about all the different aspects of your life and jot down the things that feel most important to you in each area. Prioritise these.
2. They lead a healthy lifestyle.
We are playing the long game here! For anybody who has children we want to be here to see them grow up. Do not sacrifice your health now, thinking that you’re doing a good thing by anyone. Schedule those medical appointments (anyone due a smear test?), take the time for regular exercise, buy yourself the healthy food, schedule in rest time, take whatever supplements you need – you are worth it!
3. They create a system of easy reminders of their goals.
It’s so easy to lose track of your goals and get swept up in family and work life. Before you know it months have gone past and you haven’t even started what you set out to.
A really great tip for keeping goals at the forefront of your mind is to change your passwords for all of your logins to one or two of your goals.
You can also make a habit of writing your goals in the condensation of the shower screen each morning.
Use apps that pop up on your phone with a message reminding you of your intentions
Post something on the fridge or on the back of the toilet door.
4. They try to ensure the fair division of weekly labour.
Ever felt like everything is left up to you and you alone? And it is OVERWHELMING? To be highly effective at anything you need to ensure you are not overburdened . Tasks should be fairly split (where possible, everyone’s situation is different) and you’re not doing the lion’s share. Work out which are essential to you and which can be left out. Train children to do some jobs, use some as bonding time with the kids, outsource others if you can afford to. Get a family calendar and stick it somewhere everyone can see it.
5. They prioritise connection with those that they love most.
A lot of issues and problems that come up are often due to relationships that need a bit of extra TLC. A lot of behavioural issues in children occur when they feel a disconnect to their parents. Same with issues between spouses. Work on prioritising relationships with the ones you love. Ditch the dishes and play that game, get one-to-one time in the diary with each child and your spouse.
6. They regularly practise being grateful.
The things we focus on become the things we attract more of.
Highly effective people tend to be people who practise feeling grateful for many of the wonderful things they have in their lives. This can be as simple as grateful for a hug from your child, being grateful for your health, being grateful for the sunshine… Try and get in the habit of journaling five things you’re grateful for each morning and before you go to bed.
“Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds”
7. They make time for themselves and the things that spark joy.
Self-care is many things to many people but it is not just taking a shower or cutting your toe nails. You need to feed your soul, your mind and your body. Brainstorm what would bring you the ultimate pleasure when thinking about each of these areas. Then plan it in to your week. Every week.